Corporate Assassin Origins: The Legend of Yi Wang Part 2

August 27th, 2009

Yi Wang confronts the CEO and stands up for his team and his honor.

Corporate Assassin Origins: The Legacy of Yi Wang Part 1

August 25th, 2009

Back in the 70s Mr. Yi Wang worked for a company and participated in a competition to save the company. The winner becomes the Vice President of the company…Melvin, the Corporate Lawyer has other plans for the competition.

Blogger In The Office

April 25th, 2009

bloggerI just got a call to take down a blogger. The assignment is a couple months away but I’d like to know some of the annoying traits that bloggers in the workplace present. Here are a few that I learned from my client…

  • The constant question….”Did you read my blog post?”
  • Taking pictures of you and posting them without your knowledge
  • Talking about you in the workplace giving every major detail besides your name
  • Blogging about your clients/customers
  • Opinion about everything
  • Blogging at work



Go ahead and add to this list, I’m sure the target will adopt some of your responses.

Corporate Assassin Promotional Video

April 23rd, 2009

I guess you can call this our business plan. Open and wanting talent to join us.

Corporate Assassin in Harvey’s Kitchen

April 7th, 2009

Harvey Robinson from Monkeywhale invited Brian and Andy to talk about the concept and origins of The Corporate Assassin.

Harvey’s Kitchen is a cool program run from his small kitchen where he interviews artists around Greensboro, NC, and beyond. We enjoyed our session and look forward working with the Monkeywhale team in the future.

Donate Your Frequent Flyer Miles For A Good Cause

April 7th, 2009

planeGood cause? We’d like to think so. If you travel the world and have so many frequent flyer miles and you don’t know what to do with them, donate them to us.

We have actors in NYC, San Fran, LA, and Chicago we would like to shoot an episode with.

This would be for our “Financial Crisis” episode. Trust us when we tell you it will be worth it. If you lost your home, got laid off, lost your pension or your 401k is gone this episode will give you instant gratification in a cathartic kind of way.

Episode 2: Outtakes

February 22nd, 2009

This is some of my favorite outtakes. I had my father, brother and wife act in this episode. I made the mistake of sitting my brother and father across from each other. It was a lot of fun and we recorded some great moments.

Episode 1: Extended Scene – Molly and Geoff

February 16th, 2009

This was a great scene between two talented actors. They ad-libed the entire scene and it was a one take. I had to share this. Great job guys.

Episode 1: Extended Scene – Molly and Michelle

February 15th, 2009

I love how Molly and Michelle interact in this scene. In “Silence is a Virtue,” I edited down the individual scenes and made a montage. Now it’s time to give back.

Episode 1: Outtakes

February 13th, 2009

Here are some outtakes from the first episode, Silence is a Virtue.

We All Have Our Reasons

February 7th, 2009

We all have our reasons for doing what we do. His was for survival. Obviously, that isn’t my reason. Stick around and you might learn a thing or two about me.

Home Lunch

February 6th, 2009

I’ll never understand those guys whose wives pack them cute little lunches. I see them all nicely lined up in the break room fridge.

lunch bag

Maybe because I don’t have a wife. Occupational hazard, and all that. I can just see it…”Hi honey, I’m home! How was my day? It went pretty well, I killed Susan in Accounting because she was using petty cash to get a bi-weekly pedicure..” Who wants to spend their lunch break in the office anyways?

Turned Down Assignment

February 5th, 2009

Some jobs are just not for me. Here is an excerpt from News.com Australia about a project I chose to turn down.

Station finance manager David Breed had a severe heart attack at work in September.

Ms Hegyi, who is a registered nurse, rushed to help.

She gave him medication, hooked him up to oxygen and called an ambulance from Adelaide River.

“But he deteriorated rapidly and I thought he was going to die,” Ms Hegyi said. “So we put him in a car and David drove towards Adelaide River.

“The ambulance met us half way.”

Mr Breed was taken to Royal Darwin Hospital and was off work for several weeks.

“I honestly believe that I saved his life,” Ms Hegyi said.

The couple were shocked when they returned from holiday after Christmas and were told they were being made redundant.

They were given a separation package and told to leave their company house within two weeks.

“We’re shattered,” Mr Hegyi said. “We’ve got no jobs, no house and five kids.”

Here are a few reasons I had to turn down this assignment.

  1. They wouldn’t listen to my suggestion by targeting the finance manager instead of the Hegyis. He will need medical attention and thus their health insurance would go up. I was informed the healthcare in Australia is not the same as the US. Oh yeah.
  2. I’m not even that cold
  3. I just got home and I need a break…all this killing is exhausting
  4. They have 5 kids and are good people, I refuse to target anyone that is well liked or respected by their peers
  5. I believe in Karma

The Unheard Christian Bale Tirade

February 3rd, 2009

Audio clip: Adobe Flash Player (version 9 or above) is required to play this audio clip. Download the latest version here. You also need to have JavaScript enabled in your browser.

I’ve worked on some films where some people needed to get yelled at like this. But at the same time I’m not exactly why Christian Bale ripped into the DP on the set of Terminator Salvation. Correction…Ain’t It Cool News has some inside info on what went down and I can understand why he would be upset. But to go crazy like that is not right.

To be honest I’m not sure how I would react to that. There must be so many emotions running through the DPs head like:

  • Is he serious?
  • Shit! Batman is scary as hell.
  • I hate method actors.
  • What the fuck is he talking about? That was a rehearsal.
  • Patience, don’t give him a reason to be suspicious of you.
  • I’ll get him back by loading the blanks myself.

Average Salary For A Corporate Assassin

January 29th, 2009

$66,000, yup that is the average salary that Simply Hired came up with on their salary calculator and I’m not surprised. That is what happens when you go corporate and not continue as a contractor. Trust me if I was to get paid that much I’d take myself out by swallowing push pins and gluing both ends up.